History Jokes
His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby boy. He dropped his tools and ran to the boy. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the boy from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.
The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's place. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy farmer Fleming had saved.
"I want to repay you", said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life". "No, I can't accept payment for what I did", the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes", the farmer replied proudly. "I'll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good education. If the fellow is anything like his father, he'll grow to a man you can be proud of.
And that he did. In time, farmer Fleming's son graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.
Years afterward, the nobleman's son was close to death from pneumonia. What saved him?
Penicillin. The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name?
Sir Winston Churchill.
'Task 1. For each of the questions 1-10 decide which of the statements are true or false
1. The text mainly tells about ordinary events in history. '
2. At the beginning of the story, the farmer was bathing in a river.
3. There must have been an accident with a little boy.
4. The action takes place nowadays.
5. The farmer's children were all girls.
6. The little boy's father wanted to give the farmer a sum of money.
7. The farmer seemed to know the importance of knowledge.
8. The nobleman's prediction did not come true.
9. The boy glorified his family name.
10. Sometimes wonderful coincidences happen in life.
Task 2. For each of the questions 11 —20 decide which of the answers (a, b, c or d) best complete the statements
11. It may be inferred from the text that the Fleming family lived:
a) in the south of Great Britain; b) in the north of Great Britain;
c) in the centre of Great Britain; d) outside Great Britain.
12. The farmer must have been:
a) kind and wealthy; b) noble and proud;
c) hardly able to make ends meet; d) idle and suspicious.
13. One can make a conclusion that the saved boy's father was:
a) a successful farmer; b) a good hunter;
c) an aristocrat; d) a beggar.'
14. The farmer's son must have been:
a) worth pride; b) a wonder kid;
c) a nobleman; d) from Ireland.
15. The nobleman's offer was:
a) rather stupid; . b) just and generous;
c) not worth considering; d) never accepted.
16. After receiving his education, young Fleming was supposed to:
a) work with customers; b) sell medicines;
c) look for criminals; d) treat patients.
17. Alexander Fleming discovered: a) a penny ceiling; b) a pan sealing; c) penicillin; d) pennies while pealing.
18. Fleming's discovery made him:
a) cruel and dangerous; b) famous worldwide;
c) thrilling and exciting; d) quite boring.
1. They haven’t yet come from the south.
2. He was ill last week, but now he has recovered.
3. If everybody has read this new novel, let's discuss it.
4. Have you booked tickets? — Yes, I have. I booked them several days ago.
5. I can hardly recognize you. I have not seen you since you left for Moscow. And you have changed so much.
6. Have you read all the books on this shelf?
7. I haven’t seen my cousin since last year.
8. Why have you put these things in the wrong place?
9. Why have you left the door open? You will catch cold sitting in the draught. 10. "We haven’t met for such a long time!" said my friend. "Yes, indeed," I answered, "and we both have grown."
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