Bitard-man. Recently I started to like covering myself in stale feces and fapping. Almost every morning I walk around my neighborhood with a large black garbage bag and collect all the crap I see. It takes a whole day to get two bags full of shit. But it all pays off when I come home after a hard day, go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water and…mmm, pour all the crap into the bathtub. And then I masturbate, imagining that I’m being devoured by all the feces. All in all, I think, that poo has its own mind, each pile of shit has its own family, place, feelings, we shouldn’t just flush them down the toilet, we should take care of them, talk to them, pet them… And you know what, I had a wonderful dream while lying in the bathtub yesterday, I dived into the sea and it turned into shit, fish, seaweed, jellyfish, everything turned into poo, even the sky, Allah himself.
you go on holiday- I feel excited when I go on holiday.
• you have to take an examination- I feel bored when I have to take an exam.
• you walk through a forest at night- I feel frightened when I walk through a forest at night.
• you see an exciting film- I feel happy when I see an exciting film.
• you get up in the morning- I feel tired when I get up in the morning.
• you wear a new dress/jacket- I feel glamorous when I wear a new dress/jacket.
• you have had your hair done- I feel beatiful when I have had my hair done.
• you do homework- I feel good when I do my homework.